Sunday, October 18, 2009

For internet geeks and time wasters

Tumblr is a cool blog site that took me a while to learn to maneuver. Like FB or other social networks, or Blogger, even, you follow others. Their posts show up in your dashboard. However Tumblr is very visual, unlike text heavy blog.

The more people you follow, the more cool stuff you re-blog...

Amazing photographs...

You can follow me here

Mostly fashion, shoes, pretty pictures, etc.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Dear me, in the closet again?

For me crossdressing has always been a dark pull, like a gravity, or wet jeans that suck and tease me down, down, down. I don't mean to paint it darkly, but darkly it often feels, for because I am a secondary, or latent transperson, it is cognitively difficult at times to strip away hiding and lying patterns of defenses that I have employed over the years.

When I came out to my spouse, it was one of the most awful psychic rippings I've taken in my 35+ years on the planet. And for the better part of a year I have not had those darkly thoughts, those defensive maneuverings.

It's like I'm out of the closet, but I'm in a bigger closet.

Me spouse is right to hold me fast to being secret in the big woody south. Still, sometimes I feel like she doesn't want me to express my true self at all, unless we're shopping.

It's bizarre. I'm getting mixed signals.

I feel like a child whose mother is disapproving of the friends I have chosen.

Only my friends live in my heart and head and want to come over more often.


What's a gal to do?

The above pic is Candy Darling, pure genius.