Thursday, July 1, 2010

Tumblr Addict, nutso in boy mode

So, I've become a Tumblr addict. So easy, so fun, so simple. You think Facebook is addicting....Tumblr is pic oriented. Very Trans friendly, I've found, as well as GLBT friendly. Do try it for a diversion. I spend time reblogging pretty items. Think of it as a way to save pictures, links, etc that you gush over, without the hassle of other social networking sites.

Do you any of you other gurls out there find that your gender dysphoria vacillates between 0 and 100? I find I can go from 0 to 100 in seconds. Other days I hover at 70, sometimes at 55. Whew! Makes a girl's head spin.

Have I mentioned I haven't dressed in two weeks and that an adored family member is divorcing? Well...I have been cleaning house in Upstate New York for the last fifteen days with my spouse, who rocketh, and sat front seat for divorce drama craziness.

For a long time, I felt like I wasn't the craziest bitch in the house. Mind you, denied of any transgender expression for such a time...I began to impose my own non binary gender zest to life and cooked, cleaned, repaired the house, the car, helped with the laundry and encouraged the women of the family to live! Yes it was a fucking Lifetime my own mind...though I must say the women around me loved my help and support and my attention to their clothing, jewelry, interests....(geez sometimes I wonder is transgenderism is extreme heterosexuality on steroids....)only if I had been dressed as a housewife, or hippie girl, but alas, I wasn't. Otherwise it was an above average week with the fam....

My wife and I did go shopping at her fav place to shop and I came away with two dresses, three tops, two camisoles, one Victorian wanna be blouse, and accessories. Unlike past shopping experiences she showed distaste for my trans identity, though it wasn't discussed. I could tell by her eye rolls and she was thinking "Won't this go away?"


  1. OMG, Cassidy, absolutely. Dysphoria sweeps over me at the invitation of a passing thought or image or lyric, and sometimes disappears almost as quickly. It broadsides me as I start driving home from work. Relentless, yet surprising in its fluctuations. It is usually with me at some level, at least 30.

    Shopping with my wife tonight, looking for capris for her at Kohl's. I was poring over the clearance racks, and found a sweater (yeah, I know it's summer) that was 90% off, $3.60. I was hesitant to buy anything in her presence without an invitation to do so. Went back to it three different times and decided it was stupid to leave something that was being given away. She saw and asked about it before we checked out and didn't seem to have an issue with it. Maybe she rolled her eyes with her back turned to me!

  2. I'm with you on the TUMBLR thing. I discovered it accidentally, but just can't get enough of it!

    I also agree on the dysphoria swing. I can sometimes go months without a swaying thought, and other times, I go from skirts to pants several times a day. It's one of the things that most confuses my wife - who considers me HER wife. :D I can't really explain it either; I just know that it is.