Monday, February 21, 2011
transition: the mind
Yours truly is currently on a spiritual path, or should I say back on the spiritual path. No fear, loves, I'm not packing the New Testament (cue: Seinfeld sound byte: not that there's anything wrong with that) I'm talking real transformation.
I acknowledge that I am powerless to my gender: which is female. It is how I express, love, live, and perceive the world.
I acknowledge that how I perceive myself is not at all how others perceive me, and that my sense of self is opposed, if you will, or polarized perhaps to how others sense me.
What is the same? The heart, the love, the mind and the action.
It dawned on me that I must bring the two halves of my life together, to be whole. How that will look, I do not know.
Regardless if I begin hormone therapy or if I continue to inhabit two worlds, what is clear to me is that mentally and emotionally I must be the one person.
A mental, or spiritual transition must occur for me to progress.
No more despair, or shame or paranoia about if I will piss off the wife and family.
I cannot control how they feel, I can only control how I feel, and to be honest about my feelings.
I acknowledge that I cannot go half cocked into my spiritual journey without care and caution.
Sorry, ladies, I've rambled on for far too long.