Saturday, February 21, 2009

Musings...and go George Mason for electing a Drag Queen to Homecoming Queen

Sisters, I have been actively crossdressing since I was 11. Yet, it has only been in the last few months I've done so with no psychic plaque and ego crushing guilt and shame. The last time I felt this free with dressing was when I was a tween.

Thank God!

Exactly one year ago I contemplated a gruesome Faulknerian suicide just so I wouldn't think about all this T-stuff. I couldn't deal.

So I went to therapy.

I hate to loose.

And friends, mister sisters, gals, and took me a while to open up to my counselor. I went in every session thinking "this is it. I'm telling her today." And eventually I came out.

And it snowballed.

I was dressing the whole time, in fits and starts, hoping I could manage it myself. But I couldn't. The husband-father-friend guilt sucked me down into a hole.

Somtimes it wasn't so bad, but most of the time...

I can't explain the phenomenon of crossdressing any better than anyone else, but doing so without the ugh! of deceit and fear is frakking liberating.

My spouse is supportive to a point, and that's tre cool with this gal.

My kids, very young, call me Mommy, or Dadme, or Momde... For Halloween my oldest proclaimed I should be a witch. They can tell, I think, on some level.

Interesting note: in a recent study, psychologists noted that people who used fake avatars, pics, and identities on-line experienced confidence boosts. This age of gaming where boys can play as girls, and vice-versa, could be the foundation of the future culture where the barriers of gender are stripped further down to the bones.

George Mason, a fine southern middle of the road Academic institution elected a gay crossdresser for homecomming queen.

1 comment:

  1. > in the last few months I've done
    > so with no psychic plaque and
    > ego crushing guilt and shame

    It takes a long, hard journey to get to that place and it's nice to read that you've reached it.

    Talking about kids and gender in on-line games, it seems they switch as it suits them. Boys will have female avatars because they get more help and are less likely to be attacked. Likewise, girls will use male avatars so they don't get help or get hit on. It's a strange world out there :-D